thoughts on church

As I walked out of church last week, I had a familiar sinking feeling in my stomach.

I miss my church. I miss leaving church feeling rejuvenated by the Holy Spirit. I miss listening to a sermon that is expository and Gospel centered.

The church I attend here in Irbid is an Arabic speaking congregation. As part of my SALT experience, I wanted to participate in a body of believers here in Jordan, hearing their stories and learning about living as a religious minority. I desired to partake in a community of believers and live life alongside them.

Thus far, I have succeeded in that goal.

The problem? It's an Arabic speaking congregation. Which is great because it allows me over an hour of uninterrupted "listening to Arabic" time. However, let's be honest here... my Arabic is still at a level that within a half an hour sermon, I understand maybe five words. On a good day the number could be up to ten. That lack of understanding leaves much to be desired.

The time I spent last year attending Redeemer Anglican Church in Chicago made me familiar enough with a liturgical service that I understand and follow the structure of the service and the prayers:

Jesus said: "you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, "you shall love your neighbor as yourself." ... Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy. ... Glory to God in the highest and peace to his people on earth. Lord God, heavenly king, almighty God and Father, we worship you, we give you thanks, we praise your for your glory. ... We believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen. We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God...

Partaking in this community of believers, in this faith tradition, has made me even more aware of the beauty that comes through experiencing Christ through different faith traditions. Having spent my early church years in a Covenant Church congregation, and then my teenage years to adulthood in a non-denominational large Evangelical community, it wasn't until the past two years that I participated in an Anglican, liturgical based service. Saying the same prayers each week, knowing that Christian communities all over the world are praying the same, Gospel based prayers, is a beautiful reminder to me of the global family of believers.

There is so much to learn about God through different faith practices. The fact that people have a broad spectrum of ways they understand, experience, and interact with God is a testament to the character of God: He has created us all as individual beings whom He loves. He has given us all different passions and gifts and different mediums to connect with Him.

As I sit each week listening to my Arabic speaking brothers and sisters praying and worshiping our Lord Jesus, my thoughts sometimes wander to memories of church back home... listening to beautiful choirs sing at Moody Church Candlelight Carols each year, weekly singing beautiful hymns in College Church, learning from Biblically-based sermons. As I leave church each week, the sinking feeling in my stomach, I think, is mostly from a void felt from the lack of opening up the Word each week and being lead through a section of Scripture. This is done at the church I attend...or at least I think it is...again the entire service is in Arabic. This sinking feeling is not due to the lack of the Gospel being preached, but rather my lack of being able to understand the message.

This experience has made me even more aware of the power that comes through simple hearing and understanding something in your own language and cultural setting. Again, I do believe there is deep insight and understanding that can occur when one steps out of their normal faith practices. However, there is also great growth which can only occur through studying God's Word within a community of believers and in understanding the message in your own language.

I know there is still much to be learned through partaking in life and worship with my Arab brothers and sisters here. However, some Sundays I simply miss home.